


no stranger to death

by Anonymous



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death, Dubious Morality, Grim Reapers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Minor Character Death, Smut, Sort Of, like the whole thing is centered around death, nothing too detailed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:54:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29671722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “What are you then?” Jeongin said next.The question made Jisung pause. How do you explain that you collect the souls of the dead to a child?“I...am there at the end,” Jisung said slowly, choosing his words carefully. “When someone takes their last breath, I’m there to collect it.”
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30
Collections: AGIBBANG FEST





	no stranger to death

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is the second one i've written for the agibbang fic fest, which you can find on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/AGIBBANGFEST)!! this prompt was number #0018 and was quite a challenge for me, but i think it turned out okay! mind the tags please, death is a major theme and there are mentions of domestic/child abuse. hope you enjoy!

Jisung met Jeongin for the first time when he was eleven years old, at the deathbed of his mother. The reaper stepped into the hospital room that night and for the first time in decades felt a tug at his heart. He stood just inside the doorway, gazing at the pitiful form of Jeongin’s mother, a bone-thin woman who shook like a leaf even in near death. Jisung’s eyes then landed on Jeongin, a small and frail boy hunched in the corner of the room. 

One thing Jisung has learned over the years is how to come quickly and quietly when he needs to, but drag the process out for those who deserve it. He usually can stomp out any trace of remorse for those kinds of humans. For the most part, however, he tries to be as quick and merciful as possible. As soon as he crossed the threshold of the room he knew that Jeongin and his mother had been through enough and she deserved a merciful death.

Jisung’s profession allowed him to know the cause of death, which was a collapsed lung and internal bleeding. Although he wasn't privy to the circumstances, he took one look at the two people in that hospital room and knew what had happened. Jeongin’s mother had several broken ribs, and a myriad of bruises, young and old. Paired with the faint finger shaped marks on her neck and the varied bruising that he saw on her son, Jisung could deduce what had occurred.

Jisung knew he should have just shoved the pang in his heart out of the way, but for some reason the sight of Jeongin curled up in the room with his dying mother made him shake with an emotion he can't quite describe. He was  _ angry _ , but he was also full of pity. No one deserved the type of abuse that was present on Jeongin and his mother.

So Jisung breathed one last rattling gasp into Jeongin’s mother, which woke the boy. He stood aside as Jeongin walked past him to calm his mother. He knew that she had a mere minute, but he was not the only one. Jisung could tell that Jeongin was aware of the ticking clock in his pocket. 

“Mom, I-” Jeongin whispered, but he's cut off.

“Shhh,” Jeongin’s mother said with labored breath. “I love you, my little Jeonginnie.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

Jisung looked away as Jeongin started to shake with sobs, grasping his mother’s hand. The reaper pulled out the pocket watch inside his suit jacket, and it started to tick louder as hand reached the end. He could see the slight glow in the mother’s eyes, and he moved to the head of the hospital bed.  The clock chimed quietly as it arrived at the finish, and Jisung reached out to close the mother’s eyes. He pressed down slightly to release her soul, before stepping back. Jisung glanced down at Jeongin, and his heart broke a little in that moment. The tiny boy had draped himself on his mother, crying softly. 

Jisung has seen many different kinds of human tears before. He's seen ugly sobs that tear through the body with sharp claws, people brought to the floor with the weight of their grief. People trembling as delicate tear tracks paint their faces, sorrow coming in the form of crushing silence. But for some reason, the quiet tears of this eleven year old boy touched him. It hurt seeing this boy left motherless to fend for himself against a father who beat him.

_ What is this feeling?  _ Jisung knows he's supposed to be objective, his sole purpose is to collect the souls of the dead. He doesn't even have a soul himself, much less human emotions.  _ And yet, I feel sorry for this child. _

Jisung stepped closer, and reached out towards Jeongin. He paused right before his hand touched Jeongin’s shoulder. Jisung sighed, and then laid a comforting hand on him. Or rather, his attempt at comfort. It was awkward, as he's never had the chance to touch a human before. He didn’t expect a response but to his surprise, Jeongin whipped around at his touch. Jisung yanked his hand back, startled. But Jeongin obviously didn't see him, despite feeling him there. His eyes gazed past the reaper, darting back and forth in search of the unknown presence. 

“W-Who’s there?” Jeongin stammered. Jisung stayed silent, waiting to see what Jeongin would do with baited breath.

Jeongin narrowed his eyes, but eventually turned back around to face his dead mother. Nothing like this has ever happened to Jisung before, and now his interest has piqued. His mind spun at the implications of this and what it meant.  _ What kind of human could sense my presence?  _

Before he could do anything rash, Jisung’s pocket watch started ticking again, signaling his next job. He took one last look at the boy in front of him, wishing he could do more. But he couldn't, so he’s whisked away across the city in the blink of an eye to the latest soul in need of collection.

After completing several more jobs, Jisung was still thinking about Jeongin. This was an entirely foreign phenomenon for Jisung. He usually finished a job, moved on, and immediately forgot about everything he had seen. It was protocol, but he also thought it wasn't right for him for hold onto the things he witnesses. Before he could stop himself, Jisung quickly switched his pocket watch status to inactive. He was only supposed to do so when he needed to rest, which happened about once every fortnight. But he was deathly curious about the boy who wouldn't leave his mind alone.

Jisung appeared in a bedroom that was rather bare for an eleven year old. The walls were grey and peeling, with nothing personal tacked up like the other children's rooms Jisung has been unfortunate enough to visit. There was a little desk against one wall with a notebook and some pencils, and three broken crayons. 

There's a small closet, which Jisung opened. The clothes inside were well worn, and probably hand me downs. There was only one pair of shoes, caked with mud and age. Jisung closed the closet door with a sigh. The bed was in the corner farthest from the door, the faded dinosaur comforter being the only indication that a child resided here. Jisung’s heart clenched.  _ What kind of life is Jeongin living where his childhood room looks like this?  _

Jisung was ripped from his thoughts when he heard shouting downstairs, followed by stomping footsteps coming up to the room. The door was slammed open and shut by Jeongin, who then threw himself onto the bed with a huff. Jisung held his breath. He was standing in the center of the room, hoping that his presence would be concealed like it usually is. But, alas, when Jeongin sat up, his eyes widened as they landed on where Jisung stood.

But Jeongin said nothing, just stared intently at Jisung like he was regarding someone familiar spotted on the train. He then cocked his head to the side and gazed into Jisung’s eyes for a long while before straightening up.

“You were there in the hospital room, weren't you?” Jeongin said.

Jisung had forgotten how perceptive children can be, and how readily they accept strange happenings.

“Yes,” He replied.

“Are you a demon?” Jeongin asked.

“No,” Jisung replied. “But close.”

“What are you then?” Jeongin said next.

The question made Jisung pause.  _ How do you explain that you collect the souls of the dead to a child? _

“I...am there at the end,” Jisung said slowly, choosing his words carefully. “When someone takes their last breath, I’m there to collect it.”

“Are you Death?” 

“In a sense.”

Jeongin took that in, slouching slightly as he looked deep in thought. Jisung watched him closely. He looked in better shape than in the hospital, the bruises had faded. But his eyes were red with tears and the dark circles under them told a tale of fatigue. There was a few minutes of heavy silence before Jeongin broke it again.

“Can you force someone’s last breath?” 

Jisung clenched his fist. He knew who Jeongin was talking about.

“Unfortunately I can’t do that.”

Another silence fell until Jeongin spoke again.

“Why are you here?”

“You…interest me.”

“Interest?” Jeongin looked at Jisung with a confused expression on his face.

“You can see me. No human has seen me before,” Jisung explained.

“Oh,” Jeongin was looking at Jisung with the proper curiosity of a child now. “Does that make me special?”

“Yes, I suppose it does,” Jisung smiled.

Jeongin’s lips upturned into a smile of his own, the first one Jisung had seen on his face so far. Looking down at the small boy, Jisung could feel a tug on his heartstrings again. The need to protect and keep Jeongin away from harm burned deep inside of him, but Jisung didn’t know what to do. Any of the things he was thinking of doing were against protocol. 

“Do you have a name?” Jeongin asked next.

“Yes, but it’s in a language no human would understand,” Jisung answered, and Jeongin’s face fell. “But a rough translation that would make sense to you would be Jisung.”

“My name is Jeongin!” Jeongin said, and Jisung resisted the urge to tell him he already knew his name.

Before he knew it, his pocket watch was angrily chiming again, signaling his cue to leave. He's using his precious break time to be here, and it's almost up. He won't be able to sleep now for another fortnight, but it was worth it. 

“Are you leaving already?” Jeongin asked, a frown settling on his face again.

“I’m out of time,” Jisung replied, voice laced with sadness.

Jisung barely had time to blink before Jeongin scrambled off the bed and ran to him. The small boy wrapped his arms tightly around the reaper’s waist, burying his face into Jisung’s chest. Jisung stood in shock for a second, unable to process the bold gesture of affection. After a solid few seconds he awkwardly pats Jeongin on the back, hoping he read such a human emotion correctly.

“Did my mother suffer?” 

Jisung almost didn't catch the whispered query from the boy, whose voice was muffled by Jisung’s suit. Jisung could practically hear the tears threatening to fall. 

“I do not think so,” Jisung replied softly.

“Thank you,” Jeongin whispers, looking up at Jisung through his wet lashes.

Right then, Jisung made a promise to himself to protect this boy. He knew this was immensely unprofessional and could cause some serious repercussions, but he didn't care. He would do anything to make sure this child didn't have to grow up any faster than he already had.

“I need to go, Jeongin,” Jisung said, and Jeongin’s face fell again. “But do not worry. Hopefully we will see each other again under different circumstances.”

Jeongin smiled at this, and Jisung took a mental picture to carry with him. He squeezed Jeongin slightly before letting go, pulling his watch out of his pocket. He winked at Jeongin, making the small boy giggle. And then he was no longer in Jeongin’s bedroom.

Over the next few years, Jisung used too much of his designated break time to check on Jeongin. None of his visits were such a major infraction like the bedroom appearance, but he made sure Jeongin was doing alright. It made Jisung’s heart wrench to watch Jeongin grow up from afar. But Jisung wanted to keep seeing Jeongin without interference from above, so he kept his distance. 

Seven years after Jeongin’s mother’s death, when Jeongin was eighteen, Jisung was summoned to his fifth hospital of the day. From the second he realized he was in the adolescent ward, he knew this was not going to be a good day. But when he heard crying from inside the room, his heart dropped. 

It was Jeongin. Jisung recognized his sobs from that fateful day seven years ago. The reaper steeled himself and stepped into the room, eyes sweeping the scene in front of him. Jeongin was draped over a prone body lying in the hospital bed, his own body racked with big, ugly sobs. The body in the bed was that of a boy around Jeongin’s age, with blonde hair and freckles. His face was dreadfully pale, and there was a thin layer of sweat covering his whole body. He was nothing but skin and bone, withered and weak. 

Jisung stepped closer to the bed. He calculated that the boy in the bed had about five minutes left, and he didn't know what to do.  _ Should I comfort Jeongin? Leave him to mourn? _ Before he could answer his own question, Jeongin spoke.

“I know you're here.”

Jisung stiffened.  _ Of course. I am not hidden from him anymore. _

“He doesn't have long, does he?” Jeongin asked quietly, turning to face Jisung with a tear stained face.

“I'm afraid not.” Jisung replied.

Jeongin nodded as silence fell. Jisung decided to let the silence settle. Now is not the time to intrude.

“His name is-...was Felix.” 

Jisung lifted his head at the sudden sound.

“He was my boyfriend,” Jeongin continued. 

“I'm sorry,” Jisung said genuinely.

“I loved him, and I never got to tell him,” Jeongin whispered. 

“I'm sure he knows,” Jisung replied.

“You think so?” Jeongin asked, and fresh tears started to fall.

“I know so.”

Jeongin smiled, looking back at Felix. He started crying harder as Felix’s breathing got heavier and he squeezed the other boy’s hand. It looked like the poor boy was holding on to Jeongin like he was about to plunge down the side of a cliff with the hungry waves of an angry ocean waiting to swallow him up. Jisung supposed that was a bit like the way death was. Everyone clung to life with everything they had until they were pushed off the edge and sent into the abyss.

Jisung pulled himself out of his musings to check the watch. It was almost time. Jeongin knew it too, as he was gripping Felix’s hand just as tight as the other was. In contrast to that intensity, Jeongin tenderly swept Felix’s hair away from his face with his other hand. The boy was looking at his sick boyfriend with such fondness in his eyes, and Jisung felt his cold heart break. Watching teenagers die was one of Jisung's least favorite parts of his job. They get a taste of what life had to offer before it’s snatched away from them by the cruel hands of fate. 

And fate was indeed cruel. Jisung could see the cancer cells pulsing inside of Felix’s body, draining his life slowly and painfully. The fact that he was ending Felix’s suffering and letting him move on to better things only slightly soothed his whisper of a soul. 

Jisung heard the watch ticking louder, inching towards the end. He placed a hand on Jeongin’s shoulder, who just cried louder. Gut wrenching, ugly sobs that wracked the boy’s body as he clung to Felix’s limp body. Nothing like the quiet crying of an eleven year old Jeongin. All Jisung could do was stand there with his hand on Jeongin’s heaving shoulders, unsure of how to comfort. It was only after a minute he realized Jeongin was muttering to himself.

“I love you, I love you, I love you…” Jeongin repeated over and over again, whispered like a secret just for him and Felix.

Jisung took this time to move to the head of the hospital bed, waiting for the watch to run out. He couldn’t bear to look at Jeongin. The sight of him in mourning before Felix was even gone was painful. Jisung was baffled by the stabbing sensation he felt in his chest as he listened to Jeongin desperately confess.

It was at that moment that Jisung realized what was happening. He was  _ falling  _ for this human. This human who had come face to face with death twice, who faced much more hardship than any eighteen year old should. This human who cries freely, who loves deeply, who stays with the dying until the end. This human who he has known for so long but knows so little of. Jisung was determined to know more.

But first, he must watch Jeongin’s heart break into pieces. Jisung reached over and placed his hand over Felix’s eyes as the sick boy’s final breaths rattle through his chest. When Felix’s body finally lay still and cold, Jisung closed his eyes gently. He stepped back, unsure what to do as he watched Jeongin fall apart. The human’s face was red and splotchy, tears streaming down his face like a raging river of sorrow. 

Slowly, Jisung moved to the side of the bed where Jeongin stood over his dead boyfriend’s body. As soon as Jisung got close enough, Jeongin turned and hugged him tightly. Jisung made a noise of surprise as Jeongin wrapped his arms around him, holding onto the reaper as if he's clinging to a lifeboat in the middle of a raging ocean. Jisung’s hand came around to rub Jeongin’s back, the other hand holding Jeongin’s head to keep him close.

Jisung remembered the hug Jeongin gave him seven years ago, but this was different. This was desperate, Jeongin pressing himself as far into Jisung’s body as he could, making himself as small as possible. Jisung doesn't know what to say, but he figured that this was not a moment for unnecessary words anyway, so he stayed silent. Silently holding Jeongin tight, letting the human lean his whole body weight against him. Sooner than he'd like, Jeongin pulled away.

“What do I do now?” Jeongin said, still sniffling from the tears he shed.

“Life goes on without him,” Jisung said gently. “You will be okay, in time.”

Jeongin shook his head violently, hand coming up to pound lightly on Jisung’s shoulder.

“I don't want to be okay! I want Felix back!” Jeongin shouted, practically spitting in Jisung’s face.

Jeongin’s head dropped to Jisung’s chest and he continued to beat against the reaper’s shoulder. Anger was a stage of grief he was familiar with, so Jisung just stood there and took it. He didn't know what he could possibly say to calm Jeongin down anyway. He knew life and death were equally unfair, and there was nothing he could do about it. All he could do was let Jeongin take it out on him. 

So he did. Jeongin was crying again, but this time it was angry tears. Sobs tore through the human’s body, turning into half-shout, half-screams as they were ripped from his throat. He was still hitting his fist against Jisung. Jisung still didn’t stop him. He could see Jeongin getting tired, and it wasn’t long before he was sagging under the weight of his sorrow and exhaustion. Jisung just sank to the floor with Jeongin in his arms, wrapping his arms tightly around the human. Jeongin curled into his lap without a word, his cries slowly quieting. Jisung rubbed Jeongin’s back as he sniffled into Jisung’s dress shirt. After a long while, Jeongin was finally quiet.

“Why are you still here?” Jeongin said finally, voice raw.

“You need me,” Jisung replied simply. He silently thanked the powers down below that he hadn’t gotten another call.

“Don’t you have more important things to do?” Jeongin said, and Jisun’s heart breaks.

“You’re the most important thing to me right now,” Jisung said honestly.

“Really? But I’m just a random human you barely know,” Jeongin whispered, looking up at Jisung with watery eyes from his spot on the reaper’s lap.

Jisung paused. He forgot that Jeongin wouldn’t have any idea that he checked on him over the years. 

“Well, ever since your mother...you know...I’ve been making sure you’re alright,” Jisung admitted. “I care about you.”

“Oh,” Jeongin said and Jisung froze for a second, thinking this is about to go south, but then he saw a blush creeping across the human’s cheeks. “You care about me?”

“Yes, dearly,” Jisung said. “Seeing you in the hospital room that night awakened something in me. Reapers aren’t supposed to feel emotions, you see.”

“That sounds miserable,” Jeongin whispered.

“I know of nothing else,” Jisung replied. “But something about you changed me.”

Jeongin is fully blushing now. Jisung had to look away. But when he did so, he remembered where they were. They were in the hospital room of Jeongin’s dead boyfriend, sitting on the floor in a tangled mess. Jisung quickly slid Jeongin off of him and stood up, pulling the human up with him. If a nurse walked in now, Jeongin would be immediately admitted to a psych ward for talking to someone who’s not there.

“I should go, you shouldn’t be hanging in here for longer than necessary,” Jisung said quickly. “There’s a timeline for grief processing, and standing in the hospital room of the one you’re mourning is not part-”

Jisung stopped when he saw Jeongin’s face fall. His face turned into a perfect pout, and, oh satan, Jisung was fucked. The butterflies in the pit of his stomach told him everything he needed to know. He was completely and utterly fucked.

“But...I don’t want to be alone right now,” Jeongin said quietly, almost too quiet for Jisung to hear. 

Jisung’s heart skipped a beat. Is this what it’s like to be alive? Was life just constantly feeling like you’re on a rollercoaster, with no idea when the drop is coming? With dips and loops and joy and fear? Jisung wanted it all. He felt cheated, here he was, centuries old, and never experienced the wondrous thing that is life. Despite all the sorrow he’s experienced at the end of people's lives, he wanted to know what the other parts of life were like. The beginning, the middle, all of it. And he saw all of that in Jeongin. This human who could never even fathom what Jisung was and what he did. But he wanted to tell him everything.

“Where do you want to go?” Jisung asked instead.

“My dad isn’t home, let’s go there,” Jeongin answered.

Jisung just smiled, and suddenly they’re in Jeongin’s room. Jeongin stumbled as soon as they arrived, his human body unused to the way Jisung traveled. Jisung steadied him by gently grabbing his arm, pulling him back on balance. 

“What the fuck was that?” Jeongin exclaimed, leaning heavily on Jisung.

“Instantaneous travel,” Jisung said. “Don’t ask me how it works, I wouldn’t be able to explain it if I tried.”

Jeongin just gave him a wary look before moving to sit on his bed. Jisung then looked around the room that he faintly remembered from seven years ago. It’s mostly the same, except there’s now a few faded posters, and some framed pictures of Jeongin and Felix on the desk. Jisung moved over and picked one up. It was the two of them dressed up as a cat and a witch, Jisung assumed it was for Halloween. They both had the biggest smiles on their faces, and it made Jisung’s heart hurt.

“That’s my favorite picture of us,” Jeongin said sadly. “It’s one of the few I have that I could easily convince my dad that we’re just friends so I could frame it.” 

“He wouldn’t approve?” Jisung asked, pushing down his growing anger for Jeongin’s father.

“Of course not,” Jeongin scoffed. “Because nothing in life works in my favor. Except for...for Felix.”

Jisung turned back to Jeongin when he heard sniffling. Tears were starting to stream down Jeongin’s face again, and Jisung quickly moved over to him. The reaper sat on the bed next to Jeongin, putting his arm around his shoulders. Jeongin turned to him and buried his face in Jisung’s shoulder, crying softly. 

It took about ten minutes for Jeongin to stop crying again. These tears were softer than the ones in the hospital room, and somehow were more painful for Jisung to hear. Before they had been raw and agonizing, this was just defeat. He could tell that Jeongin was actually processing what it meant for Felix to be gone, which was inherently more painful than just realizing he was gone. Jisung had seen both of these emotions before. He hugged Jeongin to his side as he cried, uncaring that his suit was probably a mess with Jeongin’s tears at this point.

When the tears finally subsided, Jeongin was quiet. Jisung looked down at him only to see that the human was falling asleep. Jisung chuckled to himself, gently maneuvering Jeongin into his bed. He removed Jeongin’s shoes before tucking him in. Jisung looked down at Jeongin, moving his hair out of his face and tucking it behind his ear. Before he could convince himself not to, Jisung leaned down to give Jeongin a kiss on the forehead. He quickly stood up after, gave one last look at the human sleeping peacefully, and disappeared from the room. 

Jisung spent the next several jobs in a daze. He couldn’t keep his thoughts away from Jeongin. He tried his hardest to focus on work, but Jeongin’s face painted the backs of his eyelids when he closed his eyes, and everything he saw when he opened them reminded him of Jeongin. Jisung felt terrible for leaving Jeongin so suddenly, and his heart ached at the thought of how he’ll react to waking up alone again. So once again, he finished the current job and switched his watch to inactive. 

He popped up in the parking lot of a high school a second later. Jisung scanned the area, searching for who he knows is near. His eyes dart over the various groups of teenagers and finally land on the one he’s looking for. The only problem is that Jeongin is currently grappling someone for his backpack. Jisung stiffened. Interfering would be a major infraction, way more than anything he’s done up to this point. But the stupid boys harrassing Jeongin were so much bigger than him, and Jisung couldn’t stand to watch. People picking on those clearly weaker was one of his least favorite things.

So Jisung gave himself a more teenager look before making himself visible to all humans. A simple leather jacket and jeans was all he needed, he knew he looked intimidating regardless. Even though reapers looked mostly human, Jisung knew they had a slightly inhuman and unsettling aura to them, and he didn’t feel guilty in the slightest for taking advantage of it. He stalked up to where Jeongin had now been pushed to the ground.

“Hey, losers!” He shouted, to the surprise of everyone involved. “Get lost!”

“And who the fuck are you?” One of the teenagers sneered.

“A friend. Now beat it,” Jisung spat, stepping between where Jeongin was on the ground and the group of meatheads. 

“Whatever,” A different one said. “We’ll leave Jeongin to his newest stupid boyfriend.”

The first teenager spat at both of them before they all turned and left, laughing like they had made some fantastic comeback. Jisung was thoroughly unimpressed. He’d seen enough of the same idiots in his centuries of existence. He sighed, turning around to help Jeongin to his feet, who was still gaping at him with his mouth open.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jeongin said incredulously, dusting himself off.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Jisung said honestly. “I felt bad for leaving you.”

“That was months ago, I’m over it,” Jeongin deadpanned. Jisung forgot that time works differently for him than it does for humans. “Thanks a lot for reminding me that I woke up alone the day after my boyfriend died, though.”

“I’m sorry,” Jisung winced. “It was time for me to go.”

“You couldn’t have told me? Or at least left a fucking note?” Jeongin said with an edge in his voice. “There I was, thinking I’d get to know you and have someone to talk to about Felix but no, I woke up to an empty room with no trace of you ever being there.”

“And I’m sorry for that, truly,” Jisung said. “If I could escape my responsibilities for you, I would.”

“Oh, would you now?” Jeongin said, turning and starting to walk briskly away.

“Yes!” Jisung replied, quickly following Jeongin. 

“Then prove it,” Jeongin said. He stopped again, whirling to face Jisung. “Come home with me.”

“Okay,” Jisung agreed immediately. He had time. He would make time.

“But this time, walk with me instead of doing whatever the fuck you did last time,” Jeongin said, starting to walk again. 

Jisung nodded, and sped up a bit to match pace with Jeongin. The walk was mostly silent, with Jeongin pointing out some of his favorite places every once and awhile. Jisung had always been interested in the way humans live, and now he got to see it up close. He liked it, probably too much so. He wanted to know what it was like to exist without being constantly surrounded by death, without being reminded how short and ultimately meaningless human life was. Jisung wanted to discover the meaning he hadn’t been able to see in his centuries of existence. 

But he shouldn’t. Couldn’t. Could he? He was given this responsibility without a choice, but there were so few reapers already, he was needed. He couldn’t just abandon what he was put here to do. It was unheard of. But, deep in Jisung’s heart, he wanted to be the first. He assumed he’d be smited from existence if the powers down below knew what he was thinking. But maybe, if he gave up something valuable enough it would be accepted as payment to exist as a human. 

“What are you thinking about?” Jeongin asked suddenly, shaking Jisung out of his thoughts. 

“Oh, nothing,” Jisung dismissed, not wanting to dump his thoughts on the human.

“It’s obviously not nothing,” Jeongin insisted.

“I’m just thinking about life, that’s all,” Jisung said. “You know I’m not technically alive?”

“I kind of figured that,” Jeongin laughed. “You’re not exactly similar to a normal person, are you?”

“No, I guess not,” Jisung replied. “Do you like living?”

Jeongin paused at this. Jisung turned to look at him while they continued walking, awaiting his answer. He understood that it was quite a loaded question, but Jisung genuinely wanted to know how Jeongin would answer it. He figured a human would give an interesting answer that he hadn’t thought of, seeing as he’s never lived.

“That’s a hard question,” Jeongin started. “I guess I do, but obviously there are some not-so-great things about being alive. I’m sure you of all people know what I’m talking about.”

“I do.”

“For most of my life I didn’t like being alive because of my dad and general living situation, but being with Felix changed my perspective a bit,” Jeongin continued. “He filled a void in my life, I guess.”

“The right person would do that,” Jisung said quietly.

“Even just talking to him made me feel alive, and I even enjoyed that feeling,” Jeongin said. “Ironically, talking with you feels sort of the same.”

“Really?” Jisung asked. He did not consider himself interesting, seeing as the only people aside from Jeongin he’s ever talked to were not living.

“Yeah,” Jeongin said. “Like, I hardly know you, but I feel connected to you in a way.”

“I feel the same way,” Jisung said.

The two of them made eye contact for the first time since Jisung arrived. Jeongin had a half-smile on his face, with both sadness and a bit of hope written across it. Jisung recognized the sadness as it was the prevailing emotion he’s seen with Jeongin, but the tiny bit of something positive made his heart sing. In that moment, he felt the strongest urge to kiss the human. He didn’t know where the thought came from, but there it was. He quickly shoved it deep down, not wanting to ruin the progress he’s making with Jeongin already.

“We’re here,” Jeongin said, pulling Jisung back to reality.

Jeongin looked up at the house they had stopped in front of. The outside matched the dreariness of Jeongin’s bedroom, the only part of the house that Jisung had seen. It was grey, with black shutters and enough grime and dust to rival the devil’s broom closet. It almost seemed cliche, that such a terrible human like Jeongin’s father would live here. Jisung allowed Jeongin to lead him up the porch steps, and waited patiently as he unlocked the front door. 

“Don’t worry about my old man, he’s out doing God knows what so we don’t need to worry about him,” Jeongin said as he moved into the house, dropping his backpack and shoes at the front door. Jisung politely took his own shoes off. 

He followed after Jeongin into the kitchen, watching curiously as Jeongin started getting things out of the pantry. 

“Do you want something to eat?” Jeongin asked as he began to make a sandwich. 

“Oh, I don’t need to eat,” Jisung said. 

“That’s depressing,” Jeongin laughed. “There’s so much good food in the world.”

“I’m sure there is,” Jisung replied. 

It didn’t take long for Jeongin to finish eating. The two of them easily conversed, as if they’ve been friends for years. Jisung supposed they have, in a strange, unconventional way. 

“Come up to my room with me, I have something to show you,” Jeongin said when he finished his sandwich. 

Jisung complied, following behind Jeongin as the human climbed the stairs to his room. Jeongin led him into the room, and Jisung’s mouth dropped open when he saw what’s inside. The walls were covered in drawings and writings about him. There were realism paintings, stylized sketches, and horror-esque charcoal drawings. Jisung could see poems, ramblings, and theories. He turned to Jeongin in shock.

“I may have gotten obsessed after you left,” Jeongin explained. “I needed to reconcile your existence with myself, to see if I had made you up in a grief-stricken state. There was a while where I chalked you up to an imaginary friend, but then you showed up in Felix’s hospital room. So here we are.”

“I’m sorry for leaving you to wonder,” Jisung breathed after a moment of stunned silence. “I guess I am kind of like a cryptid.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Jeongin said. “I told my dad I was researching an urban legend when he asked about it.”

“I assume there are probably existing legends about us,” Jisung mused. Jeongin couldn’t have been the first human to see a reaper.

“Us?” Jeongin asked.

“Oh, I’m not the only reaper,” Jisung explained. “One being could never handle the total volume of souls collected in one day.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Jeongin said, deep in thought. “Well, now that I know you’re real, I can scrap it all.”

Jeongin started gathering papers off the wall, stacking them all neatly on his desk. Jisung just watched, still slightly shocked by the display. He should have thought about the effect that coming and going from Jeongin’s life so quickly would have on him. He should have spent more time checking in on him, and more time like that first bedroom visit. If he had actually made an effort to interact with Jeongin instead of watch from afar...but it’s too late for Jisung to lament what could have been. He was there now, and that’s all that mattered. 

When Jisung turned around to see where Jeongin was in the process of clearing the walls, he found himself face to face with the human. He was startled, but calmed down when he took in the look on Jeongin’s face. Jeongin was gazing intensely at him, as if searching his face for something. He had a soft smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. 

“You’re quite fascinating, you know,” Jeongin said. “I want to know you.”

“Am I? I think you’re the fascinating one,” Jisung said. 

“I’m not the inhuman being,” Jeongin laughed, and his warm breath tickled against Jisung’s cheek. “Do you want to know me too?”

“Yes,” Jisung answered immediately. “I want to know everything about you.”

“Everything?”

“Everything and anything,” Jisung said, pressing their foreheads together. 

“Jisung?”

“Yes?”

“Kiss me,” Jeongin whispered. 

Jisung obliged, gently connecting their lips. Now, he’s fooled around with other reapers, but this is completely different. Jeongin’s lips were warm and full of life. One of Jisung’s hands landed on Jeongin’s hip and the other went to Jeongin’s jaw. Jeongin now had both of his hands on Jisung’s chest, holding onto Jisung’s jacket as if he would disappear again. Jisung supposed that was a valid fear, based on the reaper’s previous track record. But now, nothing could possibly make Jisung leave Jeongin. He didn’t care that he was breaking every rule in the book. 

Jeongin opened his mouth slightly to let Jisung in. Jisung dove in, licking into Jeongin’s mouth and nibbling at his bottom lip. He thanked the powers down below that he’s had experience with other reapers before this, because Jeongin was responding beautifully to every touch. Jisung’s mouth started to wander, leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses down Jeongin’s jaw and to his neck. He licked a stripe from the base of Jeongin’s neck to his jaw before attaching his lips to a spot and sucking a mark. Jeongin let out a surprised gasp, wrapping his arms around Jisung’s neck. 

While still giving his attention to Jeongin’s neck, Jisung moved him gently backwards until they hit the bed. He pushed Jeongin on top of the bed, taking off his jacket quicker than he ever has. Jeongin was looking up at him with an emotion Jisung couldn’t quite place. It was a mix of lust, awe, and more. Jisung was sure that he was mirroring Jeongin with a similar expression. After he was down to just his shirt and jeans, he climbed onto the bed in between Jeongin’s spread legs. 

Jisung leaned down to kiss Jeongin again, bracing his arms on either side of Jeongin’s head and kneeling so one of his knees was brushing up against Jeongin’s crotch. He didn’t plan on moving it just yet, but after a minute of making out Jeongin started to grind subconsciously against his knee. Jisung smirked into the kiss, bringing his knee up a bit to meet Jeongin’s movements. He didn’t realize how sensitive humans are, it usually took a lot longer for him to get one of his reaper friends like this. 

“Do you want this?” Jisung said after pulling away, looking deep into Jeongin’s eyes. “I understand if this is moving too fast-”

“God, shut the fuck up,” Jeongin replied before he could finish, a coy smile flickering across his lips. “Fuck yes I want this.”

“Then tell me what you want me to do,” Jisung said, leaning down to kiss at Jeongin’s neck.

“First, I want you to take off your clothes,” Jeongin said. “And then I want you to fuck me.”

“Forward, aren’t we?” Jisung laughed, and Jeongin immediately blushed, covering his face with his hands. 

“Sorry, I just...really want you,” Jeongin said. “I need this, you know, to move on.”

Jisung paused at that. He had been thinking with his dick up until this point, but now he was wary. Was it healthy for them to be doing this, given the nature of how they met and what happened the last time they saw each other? Jisung didn’t know. Jeongin probably wasn’t over Felix, and maybe he saw Jisung as just a stepping stone, but did that matter? Jisung looked back down at Jeongin. The human’s face was painted with desire, and also a bit of longing. Jisung’s moral compass was bent out of shape already, this broke it completely.

Jeongin must have seen every thought cross his face, because he grabbed Jisung by his shirt collar and yanked him into another kiss. This one was bruising, much faster paced than before. It was full of lust and passion, and neither of them was trying to be gentle anymore. Any doubt in Jisung’s mind dissipated as Jeongin grinded down on his knee again, and he sat back up to take his shirt and pants off. Jeongin followed suit with his ratty tshirt and jeans, and soon both of them were down to their underwear. 

Jisung kneeled in front of Jeongin before tugging him by the hips so his ass was in his lap. With a nod of confirmation from Jeongin, Jisung slid his underwear off, letting his half-hard cock spring free. Jisung wrapped his hand around it and gave it a few strokes, eliciting a soft moan from Jeongin. He then moved his hand so his finger brushed against Jeongin’s hole, but before he could do anything Jeongin stopped him.

“Hold on just a second,” He said before scooting to reach into the space between his mattress and the bedframe, pulling out a bottle of lube.

“Use it that often, do you?” Jisung teased.

“Shut up!” Jeongin said, smacking Jisung’s thigh lightly. “I’m still technically a teenager, goddamnit!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jisung laughed, taking the bottle of lube from him.

Jeongin huffed, but didn’t say anything else. Jisung just smirked before pouring lube onto his fingers. He made sure his fingers were properly slicked up before bringing one to Jeongin’s hole again. He circled it for a bit just to be a tease before Jeongin shot him a look. Jisung slowly slipped his finger in, and Jeongin’s eyes fluttered closed. Jisung only got two fingers deep before Jeongin was whining.

“Please, just fucking do it already, I’m ready,” Jeongin said, moaning as Jisung brushes against his prostate with the tip of his finger. 

“Greedy, greedy,” Jisung chuckled, but pulled his fingers out of Jeongin. Jeongin blushed again at the sound Jisung’s fingers made when leaving his body.

With his non-lubed hand he pulled his cock out of his underwear, after which he stroked it a few times with the lube to get it nice and wet. He tugged Jeongin closer again, so the human’s legs were wrapped around his waist. Jisung puts one hand next to Jeongin’s head and lines up his cock with Jeongin’s hole.

“Ready?” Jisung asked, to which Jeongin lets out an exasperated sigh.

“God yes, please just hurry!” Jeongin whined. 

Jisung just smiled, then immediately pushed in almost all the way. Jeongin cried out, gripping the sheets below him. Jisung paused, worried he hurt him, but then he saw the face of pleasure Jeongin was making. He slowly thrusted in the rest of the way, then started a moderate pace. Jeongin was moaning beautifully, and Jisung leaned down to kiss him again, practically drinking the sounds. Jisung bit and sucked at Jeongin’s lips, dragging even more noise out of the human.

Jisung decided he wanted to quicken the pace, so he sits up on his knees and puts Jeongin’s legs on his shoulders. He gripped Jeongin’s waist tight and began thrusting harder from the new angle. Jisung must have been brushing against Jeongin’s prostate because he’s very quickly reduced to a moaning mess. He took great pleasure in knowing that he was the one making Jeongin sound like that, the human’s high and breathy whines filling the room.

Neither of them were thinking about anything but each other. Jisung could only focus on the way Jeongin’s body practically sucked his cock in, like it wanted him as much as Jeongin did. Jeongin wasn’t even looking at him anymore, his head was thrown back and eyes squeezed shut. Jisung tightened his hold on Jeongin’s hips, and he hoped they would bruise in the shape of his fingers. The look on Jeongin’s face alone was almost enough to send Jisung over the edge, so he knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

Judging by the way Jeongin’s cock was dripping, he wasn’t that far from release either. Jisung sped up his thrusts again, making the bed shake with the force. Jeongin wasn’t the only one making noise anymore, Jisung was moaning loud now too. 

“Jisung--fuck--I’m so close,” Jeongin whimpered, hands twisted in the sheets. 

“Go ahead, let go,” Jisung said, slowing down to opt for deep and powerful thrusts. 

Jeongin let out a high-pitched moan with every thrust, before he’s cumming all over his stomach. Jisung wasn’t far behind; he pulled out to jerk out his orgasm over Jeongin’s thighs. For a while the only sound in the room was heavy breathing from the two of them. Jisung moved Jeongin’s legs to the side and collapsed next to him, suddenly exhausted. They just laid in comfortable silence, until Jeongin spoke.

“What now?” He asked.

“What do you mean, what now?” Jisung replied, turning his head to look at the human.

“Don’t you have responsibilities and shit?” Jeongin brought his hands up to do air quotes around the word ‘responsibilities.’

“Yeah, but they can wait,” Jisung sighed, closing his eyes. He wasn’t actually sure if that was true, but for now he was making it true.

“Collecting the souls of the dead can wait?” Jeongin asked incredulously.

“They can now,” Jisung said simply. “You’re more important.”

“Really?” Jeongin said, pink slowly spreading across his face. 

“Yes.”

They spent another moment in silence, Jeongin processing what Jisung said and Jisung wishing his existence was different. He could hold off the dead for a while, but he’d have to leave Jeongin eventually. The world was unfair in that way. So they just laid in silence. Contemplating. And that was okay. They could tackle what today meant later. For now, they just enjoyed each other’s company.


End file.
